A Frenzied Life

August 22, 2011
By julian GOLD, Eugene, Oregon
julian GOLD, Eugene, Oregon
17 articles 17 photos 223 comments

Favorite Quote:
The goal is not about living forever, the goal is about creating something that can.


Frenzy, bustle, and buzz…life.
The stimulus of modern-day strife.
Tranquil peace has flown its course,
And in its place is something worse.

Peaceful rest and quiet sleep,
Have fled away; no more to keep.
Replaced by stress and fevered rush,
Life’s simple times have become less.

Rushing here and rushing there,
With no relief, please do beware.
Our spirit lasts only so long,
With no recharge, we’ll soon be gone.

Why can’t we read between the lines,
And share in life’s quiescent times?
For frenzied stress can do service-
Only when joined with calming bliss.


The author's comments:
This piece expresses my feelings about the hectic society that we live in. It is about taking time out of a busy life to relax, meditate, and relish life's calm moments.

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This article has 9 comments.


on Sep. 2 2011 at 7:27 pm
Love.Hate.Passion., Spring Valley, Illinois
0 articles 0 photos 356 comments

Favorite Quote:
~Hope. Faith. Love~
~Be proud of who you are.You are all unique in a different way.~
~I WILL NOT fade into oblivion , and become less than
a distant memory.~

Amazing work!

The flow was off a little in the 8th line , but this was really good. It's got a great message to it , and your description was marvelous.


on Sep. 2 2011 at 6:23 pm
IamtheshyStargirl PLATINUM, Lothlorien, Utah
44 articles 16 photos 2216 comments

Favorite Quote:
Boredom instigates extreme creativity.
~Amoniel

"Bowing gratefully to all of my subjects, 'thank you. Thank you. The pleasure is mine." Nah, I'm just kidding. We're all kings together.'"
~Thesilentraven

I like your message, but the rhyming seems a bit stiff and awkward sometimes. Maybe if you just let it flow freely?

Personally, I can't rhyme at all L:


julian GOLD said...
on Sep. 2 2011 at 4:15 pm
julian GOLD, Eugene, Oregon
17 articles 17 photos 223 comments

Favorite Quote:
The goal is not about living forever, the goal is about creating something that can.

Thank you so much!

julian GOLD said...
on Sep. 2 2011 at 4:13 pm
julian GOLD, Eugene, Oregon
17 articles 17 photos 223 comments

Favorite Quote:
The goal is not about living forever, the goal is about creating something that can.

Thanks so much! I appreciate you taking the time to read it!

on Sep. 2 2011 at 4:03 pm
Kev-Girl SILVER, Plymouth, Indiana
5 articles 0 photos 86 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is a maybe. Death is for sure. Sin is the cause. Christ is the cure. :)

Love is the breath of God, and prayer is the melody that makes it sing.

If you cant annoy someone, there's no point in writing.

Love is overrated, marry for money.

ooooooo good job on this! I love how everything flows! 

on Sep. 2 2011 at 2:32 pm
TimeslipOracle BRONZE, ., Other
2 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
You'll commit suicide trying to read my mind

I can totally relate to this, you're really talented :) 

ams98 said...
on Sep. 2 2011 at 10:25 am
ams98, Brighton, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 39 comments
I really enjoyed it...u r a really good writer:)))

on Aug. 29 2011 at 10:46 am
Sarahhhhhhh BRONZE, Malden, Massachusetts
4 articles 0 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The silence depressed me. It wasn't the silence of silence. It was my own silence."
- Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

*thesaurus

on Aug. 29 2011 at 10:46 am
Sarahhhhhhh BRONZE, Malden, Massachusetts
4 articles 0 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The silence depressed me. It wasn't the silence of silence. It was my own silence."
- Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

I love the rhythm of your poem, it's really matches the subject & brings to mind a rolling calming lullaby. Really beautiful work. The only thing I would consider changing are the adjectives in the second stanza, they could be stronger and more evocative of peace. (Check a theasurus if you're stuck!) Other than that, I was completely drawn in by your poem. 




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