Just Beginning

March 5, 2008
I’m trying to write
But I am afraid to
I feel the eyes
Burning into my back
I feel the stares
Looking into my head
I have no where to hide
I am afraid to pour my heart out
As I normally do
I feel so scared
Of everybody around me
Like everyone’s moving forward
And I’m stuck here in the past
I feel so alone
Like no one understands me
Like no one knows my emotions
I never felt this way
I never felt the loneliness
I avoided the thought of it
So I avoided myself
Now I am avoiding everyone
To relive this emotion
That I missed for so long
I want to feel the sorrow
I never knew existed
I want to feel the pain
I ran away from
I want this misery
It’s what I am here for
I feel I should want this pain
But I don’t know if it’s right
I finally expressed my emotions
In this one little poem
With the eyes in my back
And the stares in my head
I finally know I’m here
With everyone watching
And no where to hide

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