March 4, 2008
Trapped in her own room,
confined to a chair,
she tries to break,
the bonds of her life,
tries to escape,
like an animal,
frantically clawing away,
at the bonds,
they have held her in.
The walls slowly close,
on her own world,
the chains,
one by one,
turn into,
a snake.
nowhere to run,
she tries to scream,
no one listens.
She prays.
with every last breath,
to defend,
her world,
in order to,
protect her,
there is nothing worst,
than knowing,
her world could,
The possiblity,
of being one of them,
cheap imitators,
is worse than,
death itself.

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This article has 5 comments. Post your own now!

Sarah said...
Nov. 5, 2008 at 3:27 am
I really like it. but where it says "nothing is worst" I think it should be worse.
Meredith said...
Oct. 21, 2008 at 2:31 am
I disagree with the complaints on the amount of line breaks. The breaks give it a style that reads as if the person is gasping for air while she is bound to the chair. The commas, however, are unneccesary; it'd be an easier read if most were deleted.
Me said...
Sept. 5, 2008 at 1:01 am
I must agree with "English Major". The commas are truly very irritating. The line breaks are also unnecessary. It makes for awkward halts in between a phrase that should've been connected. It is a very good poem though!
Liz said...
Aug. 30, 2008 at 4:38 am
I think it needs some editing. But it could be fantastic!
English Major said...
Aug. 26, 2008 at 6:33 am
Hmmm . . . the imagery is good, but the commas give me a headache. Perhaps you should rethink your use of them; I know poetry lets its writers break the rules of punctuation, but the pause of a line break would have been sufficient in a lot of those sentences, rather than the pause of a comma. Read it out loud with the line break version and the comma version, and you'll see that some of your commas degrade the poem (especially in the sentence "to defend, her world, in order to, protect he... (more »)
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