I Smile So Much

March 4, 2008
By Riana Gayle, Charlotte, NC

I smile so much
it’s like a permanent thing
plastered on my face
so people never think that it can leave
they never think over the words they say
thinking that they can’t hurt me
but I am a person
and I can’t stand being hurt
like I have been
by the hour every day
I’m too strong to cry
but I just have to say
my will can’t last forever and every word out of your mouth
is another thread lost
from the rope I’ve been hanging on to
hoping someone will realize just
how much pain this costs me
even when I stop smiling and my expression turns stern
there must be some trace
of a smile left on my face
because no one takes my word seriously
how would you take it
if you were me and I you?
don’t say that you could, because you can’t
don’t say that you have, because you have never
don’t pretend to sympathize and then turn your back in mockery
I am strong
but for only so long
can I hold on
and I pray
that next time
you wont say
what hurts me most
because every smirk is matched with a tear
not yet cryed
and every grin paired with a moment of sadness
so mayb next time if ever
you’ll stop when you see
that I’m not nearly as happy as I appear to be

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