Not Today.

July 28, 2011
By toriroxsoutloud BRONZE, Welsey Chapel, Florida
toriroxsoutloud BRONZE, Welsey Chapel, Florida
2 articles 0 photos 12 comments

The past is there and always will be,
dont think I will ever forget about you forgetting about me,
you think its fine and alright,
i guess you will never see it from my sight,
you think after you left me in the dark,
it would leave me no mark?
what you did was wrong,
maybe it should be in a song,
all I know is things will never be the same,
you probably think thats lame,
because you always want things your way,
but im sorry to say,
not today.


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This article has 5 comments.


on Aug. 7 2011 at 4:17 pm
toriroxsoutloud BRONZE, Welsey Chapel, Florida
2 articles 0 photos 12 comments

thank you

:)


on Aug. 7 2011 at 4:08 pm
NathanBHooker GOLD, Wentzville, Missouri
14 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Those that care don't matter; and, those that matter don't care."

I like the word usage and rhyme, I really like the message as well. Keep it up

on Aug. 3 2011 at 11:12 am
toriroxsoutloud BRONZE, Welsey Chapel, Florida
2 articles 0 photos 12 comments

thank you guys! I appriciate it (:

 

and Yes I feel like almost everyone does it to me.


on Aug. 3 2011 at 8:09 am
marissa87 BRONZE, Glenmoore, Pennsylvania
4 articles 3 photos 80 comments

Favorite Quote:
what is popular is not always right and what is right is not always popular

Its really good. the second line i think is a little awkward. I think if you revised that it would be a little better. Dont try to hard to rhyme i think some poems are better with out ryhme so dont feel like ur poems have to rhyme.

on Aug. 2 2011 at 5:53 pm
IAmWhoIWantToBe PLATINUM, Manila, Other
41 articles 0 photos 650 comments

Favorite Quote:
‎"I’m learning how to drown out the constant noise that is such an inseparable part of my life. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I only have to follow my heart and concentrate on what I want to say to the world: I run my world." - Beyoncé

The lines maybe it should be in a song doesn't seem to fit in into this poem. I think you should revise it or reword it because it seems like you're trying hard to rhyme. Anyway, it's just me. :)

its fine should be it's fine
It's not a curse to used apostrophes so don't be afraid. :)
i should be in capital.

Other than that, I like this poem and I hate how people take advantage of me too :)))


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