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Liturgy of a Lake

Water like a lion’s breath
That rising softened heat
A ripple up above me
The sky beneath my feet
The waves bring my body
To where my spirit’s gone:
Beneath the green and glassy lake
Where a flame is burning on
Rejoicing in this moment
I whisper a watery prayer
Inhaling the steady current
And drinking honeysuckle air
The breeze prepares communion
As my soul is served on ice
When I hear the solemn footsteps
Of our dear beloved, Christ





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restlessoul said...
Feb. 9, 2012 at 10:58 am
Beautiful. Are you a Christian?
 
leafyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 13, 2012 at 3:46 pm
Reading this, a scene unfolded in my mind: a figure, floating almost, in that blissful state after death and before Judgement. It is, as Stargirl says, quite beautiful, which is not much of a surprise, coming from you :)
 
IamtheshyStargirl said...
Aug. 1, 2011 at 11:52 am

This seems very different from your usual style. Did you intend that?

It's beautiful! It feels like s sort of death description, the moments after death when a new life begins, a new world is entered. 

 
Thesilentraven This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 1, 2011 at 3:42 pm

I almost never intend to use a certain style, the content is what guides me to write the ways I write. What is my usual style?

Ooh! I'm glad you thought of it that way.

Too many people think that dying is the end. We poets need to break the rigidity of the concept of death! After all, "to the well organized mind, Death is but the next greatest adventure..."

 
IamtheshyStargirl replied...
Aug. 1, 2011 at 4:00 pm

You're usual style seems to be much longer, more imagined and storylined. I like both quite a lot, though I am missing the length a little in this one L: That's just my opinion.

Or maybe even just the adventurous mind, as I've never really understood what "well organized mind" means :)

 
Thesilentraven This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 3, 2011 at 8:14 pm

Hmmm. I see. All right; I will compensate, I think, by writing a longer poem immediately! I have been thinking of writing one called "Consolation from a Lovely Spirit," by the way.

All he meant, I think, was that one has nothing to fear from death if he's got things sorted out in his head. It is only to a badly organized mind that death would seem unpleasant and unwelcoming. So it takes some wisdom and some spirit of adventure.

 
IamtheshyStargirl replied...
Aug. 4, 2011 at 10:35 am

Ahahaha, do what you wish, Raven, the completed project always delights. I wait for it's posting eagerly, the title alone is beautiful.

Oh, I think I see, so, if one has things all figured out, or at least to a degree that satisfies, he will not fear death? If one doesn't have any unfinished business in life, death will not seem such a bad thing, I think. 

 
Thesilentraven This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 10, 2011 at 1:57 pm
You've got it! Dumbledore, more than anyone else I can think of, had his affairs completely in order. That's why his happiness was so palpable in King's Cross station.
 
IamtheshyStargirl replied...
Aug. 10, 2011 at 5:00 pm
Ahhh, Dumbledore... An overflowing chalice of wisdom, and yet he is still able to remain human and flawed. That's something that I really thought was missing in the last movie. 
 
Thesilentraven This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 11, 2011 at 9:24 am
Indeed. Everyone thought that he had all the answers, and that's why they trusted him and drew comfort from him. But like you said, he remained human, so human. The film failed to capture the humanity of all of the deceased characters; Dumbledore, Lily and James, Sirius, and Lupin: they were all so apathetic, so unlike the book.
 
IamtheshyStargirl replied...
Aug. 11, 2011 at 12:19 pm
Yes, I think David Yates has a problem with emotion, maybe all the directors did. Though I thought they did Sirius pretty well, and Lupin was awesome up until the last movie. 
 
Thesilentraven This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 11, 2011 at 1:49 pm
The guys who played Lupin and Sirius were great actors (and both had excellent moustaches). I think the best one, though, was Evanna Lynch; she captured Luna with curious precision.
 
IamtheshyStargirl replied...
Aug. 11, 2011 at 8:10 pm
Sirius was awesome, and Lupin was even cooler. (The actor played Faramir in Lord of the Rings.) Moustaches always get good marks. Evanna has the coolest story, I think she and her character should have gotten more screen time. Luna is one of my most favorite characters anyway, she's one of the many stargirls in this world, fictional or otherwise :)
 
Thesilentraven This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 12, 2011 at 9:30 am

Yes, yes (I mutter, grinning mischeviously), it all comes down to the moustache.

She really should have. Luna's great, I very much agree; she's one of the characters I most admire (mostly because she's so unusual, and I admire the unusual). And a Stargirl, indeed. What would the world do without you Stargirls? I shudder to consider the possibility.

 
Thesilentraven This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 1, 2011 at 10:26 am
Ah, I forgot to mention that this is a much revised version of an earlier poem, revised because I revisited that lake to which I owe my inspiration and had different thoughts upon being there.
 
savetheplanet replied...
Aug. 8, 2011 at 11:51 pm
Very... spiritual?  Pretty description of death.
 
Thesilentraven This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 9, 2011 at 11:19 am

Er, yes. I think that's a good word to describe it.

Death can be pretty, in a way, so I tried to write my poem accordingly.

 
savetheplanet replied...
Aug. 9, 2011 at 10:25 pm
Death is like everything else on Earth, good and bad.
 
Thesilentraven This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 10, 2011 at 9:37 am

I don't think Death is ever bad, it's needed. But it comes, often, at inconvenient times; which leads us to think that it can be bad.

Dying, however, can be quite horrible, needless to say.

 
savetheplanet replied...
Aug. 10, 2011 at 1:14 pm
LOL I find hilarious that I'm quoting you to answer you. Didn't you say, "It is often longed for by those who are suffering but avoided at all costs by those who have so much to live for."?  Burning alive is horrible yes, there's nothing pretty or graceful about it,  and you can't spin it any other way.  But perhaps when you fall asleep it can be considered peaceful.
 
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