Oh Mark, you are our savior to our troubles,
our guiding light in this time of darkness and confusion.
How we strive to be like you,
you are like the government providing food.
Oh Den Mother Mark, we want to be like you.

Oh Sir Mark Loreen,
grant me one wish, if you’d please.
Allow me to kick the ball as hard as you,
like you did to Chelsea’s face that one sunny afternoon.
Oh Great Mark, won’t you visit us soon?

Oh Mister Mark, your wisdom is unmatched,
Sarcasm is a gift you possess.
Yet you persevere like a three legged hound,
and inspire all when you chase a cat.
Oh Mark Loreen, your diligence is unmatched.

Oh Den Mother,
You are like an old growth forest.
One who grows through our hearts and minds,
providing nutrients to our soul.
Oh Great Mark, come to us soon.