Nobody said it would be this confusing,
But I did know the grown-ups would find it bemusing.
To chuckle and scheme, to dream and to plan,
Till I want to scream “I can find my own man!”

And how did they forget
To tell me I would feel sick?
Don’t know how to do it,
Just that I should be slick.

All these romance novels,
These old country love songs,
Just mount my confusion
As I go along.

Why, with society all that it is,
Why is it still impossible,
To know if you know
How to kiss?

Why can’t the “Dummies” books people,
Write a book, about falling in love?
All I know is that I should,
Sink like a stone and soar like a dove.

Surely there must be more to it than that?
I give up.
To the person who understands it:
I tip my hat.