A War Within A War

July 20, 2011
Who are you really? Where are we going? Will I see you again? What makes you tick? Why do you choose me? I'm not all that beautiful, or outgoing; I'm just...ordinary. When did you decide that I was The One? How will I ever get you off my mind? All these questions I ask him, but none are answered. All these thoughts about him that go unspoken. But still he sits and stares at me with a lover's gaze. Love.....it has no rhyme or reason, it keeps no pattern, and it is never unsure.



But still, as I stare into his ocean blue eyes, I see myself drowning in its depths. I see myself getting lost on this journey they call love. I wish the spinning would stop, that his love would lose its powerful hold on me, that this joyous moment would end so I could just think. And yet I didnt want it to end. I wanted to stay with him and be showered by his neverending affection for me. I wanted to stay wrapped in his embrace forever, to never say, "I'm leaving you." At an internal war between both halves of my heart, I had no time to think, only act. I never wanted to leave him, I never wanted to hurt him, I never wanted to say goodbye. 'But I made my decision' I thought as I sit here wallowing in self-pity and loneliness...
























And I chose wrong.


Regret washes through me and I feel like a fool! I abandon my pride and dignity as I drive to his house. He opens the door and I collapse into his arms, apologies and promises muttered out of my mouth. He holds me tight and says, "Even if you hated my guts and never wanted to see me again, I'd still love you with all my heart." Feelings of shock, awe, and love towards this chivalrous man run through me all at once. I am speechless. Since that day, and from now on, I stay in the embrace of his arms, never leaving, never saying goodbye, and trying to return the love he showers upon me each and every day.





Post a Comment

Be the first to comment on this article!

bRealTime banner ad on the left side
Site Feedback