Here goes everything
Sadly my creative thoughts have made an insomniac out of me
Digging in too deep created a beast out of me
Which in return put words into my head I don’t remember thinking
But then again I’ve been staring at this empty paper so long
I don’t remember blinking
Thinking the same thing over and over
In thoughts it sounds poetic
But when I put it down on paper it seems repetitive
Like I’m thinking the same thoughts
As if it were a disease
The disease when your thoughts make it hard to breathe
But these consistent breaths seem so unnecessary
Just like the tall tales filled with nothing but false hope and fairies
In my mind I wish my heart would stop
I wish I could take it and throw it over a bridge
Just to watch it drop
For my heart aches and seems heavier now than ever before
As if the world were weighing down on it
But there’s nothing weighing down on it
Just promises I remember making
And the bullsh** I remember taking
But it’s done now
It’s over now
No one can hurt me
I’ve pushed them so far away
That it’s actually impossible for them to even brush me
And I dare someone to try and touch me
Succeed in hurting me
Continue destroying me
Just keep walking out
Keep on proving to me all I have is myself
I’m ready to go
I’ve been ready to go
Just tell me when to go
You’re all I’m clinging to
Approximately one blow away from extinction
Not like a species
More like a state of mind
A comatose stage where you breathe without thinking
Cause my mind feels like it’s shrinking
Because the thoughts are expanding to new depths
And it’s the same me
Just tortured and beat
Standing here ready for defeat
And all I have is me
And I’m not even on my own side
I’m more along the sideline
To fight for me?
Or give up?
Lately I’ve been thinking about giving up
And giving in
But I’m hoping you come back and help me win
Cause breaking promises is a sin
But what’s a sin anymore
Nothing feels like a sin
-Cue giving in-
The end. You win.