I Was Never Supposed to End Up This Way

February 20, 2008
I was never supposed to end up this way,
The receiver of all the negative things you say.
I was never supposed to fall into this hole,
To fall down and out was never my role.

Things are good now, just not the same.
She still tries to avoid all of the blame.
As for me, I'm struggling, still very much stuck.
I've no idea how to pull myself out of this rut.

My motivation has fallen, I'm discourage at least.
School's my main battle, I've turned into a beast.
I hate the way I am, and all of the fuss.
I'm just so scared- I have no trust.

I know I'm disappointing, and evoke the anger in you,
I have no excuses, but my explanations are true.
You can call my lazy, and I won't argue,
I know I'm capable of producing on cue.

It's not that I want, or try to be a shame,
But I don't know how to get back to tame.
I feel like a loser, everyone expected me to be great,
Now I fear I won't even graduate.

It's truly crazy how things end up,
The water being neither half-full or empty in my cup.
All I can say is that it's time to bend,
Bend myself back into shape, for all bad things must come to an end.

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