things you don't know

July 2, 2011
why do i have to be the one to chase you?
why do you not own up to the stuff you do?
who ever told you that's it's okay,
to turn your back on me day by day?

i'm your daughter, your flesh and your blood,
yet you can't send me
a simple birthday card?

and why is it when i call,
you don't pick up
or your phone is off?
i'm not stupid, not stupid at all.

i know when i'm being avoided,
i know when i'm being rejected,
i know when i'm being neglected,
you've sent
a crystal clear message.

my question to you
is why don't you want me?
do i shame you?

you're the adult
i'm the child
but it seems the tables
are turned somehow.

i'm your daughter,
not a stranger-
so why do you continue
to treat me like such

i wanted your acceptance.
i wanted your love.

is a little acknowledgment
too much to desire?
is to know that you care for me
a step too far?

i'm sorry i'm a "mistake"
but i didn't make myself.
the plate is here-
be a man and take a step.

i find it quite funny
that you worked at a daycare
when you've probably never
changed MY diaper.

oh, i'm not done yet.
i've got plenty to say.
16 years to cover-
16 father-less birthdays.

when i was five
i could read and write.
shoot, i could even multiply.

when i was six i danced ballet.
i weren't very good,
but good enough-
i say

i moved to Georgia when i was nine.
at first i was upset but now, of course,
i am fine.

when i was eleven i joined band,
the tuba's my instrument-
which you've never heard me play.

in eighth grade
i auditioned for
many honor bands-
and guess what?
i always got in.
1st chair, 2nd chair,
never 3rd or 4th

high school
oh, high school-
what a joy!
the teachers, the students,
boy oh, boy
two years down,
two mo' to go.
i'm graduating with honors,
i already know.

my band director, mr. stichler,
is such a pain.
he's so out there,
i quit band-
guess now you'll never
get to hear me play.

this past year of high school
didn't go so great,
didn't make-
a single 'A'.
that's right- straight C's
but it's not so bad.
i'm on academic decathlon,
and i'm doing swell.

i'm a varsity-
thanks to all the C's.
but a varsity's just-
what my coach needed.

she's really great-
you should meet her.
oh right, forgot.
being there is just not your thing.

enough about her,
i should mention my friends.
you're never around
but you should still know there names.

Bhakti, Hunter, Aspen, and Blake.
i've been friends with all of them-
since eighth grade.

i'm teaching myself Spanish
and doing pretty well.

¡Hola!, ¿Qué tal?
Hey, what's up?

i'm done with this poem-
like i'm done with you.
my anger's receding now.
time to move to something new.

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