The Art of Loving an Addict

June 26, 2011
Don't try and tell me that everything is alright.
That this will all sort out,
That the darkness holds light.

Your words are blending together,
Look at the mess you've made.
Look at the unrepairable pain you've caused.
Look at the paths you've paved.

Stop trying to push me to a cure.
Stop trying to make this right.
You know that you're the instigator,
You have caused this fight.

Stop telling me that it's not my fault,
Stop saying "It's me, not you."
Something about me ceased to exist,
And you did what you had to do.

I know I'm not perfect,
But thanks for making that even more untrue.
Thank you for sending me off into the world alone,
When I thought I'd always have you.

Thanks for making me scared,
To love anyone else.
Thank you for making me see
The beauty in everyone but myself.
Thank you for all the mixed signals,
For the maybes, the what ifs.
Maybe I'd feel less hurt,
If it hadn't come to this.

Don't even try to say,
That you're not the one for me.
Don't even tell me that you tried,
Because, if you did, this isn't how it would be.
Stop trying to make this into
Something it's really not.
And quit making me feel like I'm tied to you,
By an inevitable knot.

Stop making me need you,
Stop being in my dreams.
Why did you go and make me love you,
When you always knew you'd leave me?

Why did you have to lie?
And make me think that you were trying.
That you'd just stop smoking the f***ing pot,
Because, while you were off waking up in bed with her,
I was in my bed crying.

I tried so hard for you.
I tried to do the best I could.
I tried to catch you before you fell,
Because, in my heart,
I knew you would.

I get it,
I know the truth. Just stop.
I'm sick of trying to find a different excuse,
But the truth is,
You could never choose me over pot.

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