On Being Transgender... | Teen Ink

On Being Transgender...

June 21, 2011
By raiinbowjunkiie BRONZE, Manalapan, New Jersey
raiinbowjunkiie BRONZE, Manalapan, New Jersey
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

In April is an orifice
That asks to my chagrin,
Will curtains rise-above my thighs-
Or settle at my shin?

If all the world's a stage, but still,
To thine own self be true,
When I am nigh-to passerby-
My role is what I rue.

Their lashes served as reference points,
Like street lamps losing light,
Immune suppressed-they would request-
Another stab at sight.

Now air will always intervene,
We never coincide,
All parallel-except for Belle-
Her standards set aside.

A walking shadow I should be,
To strut and fret no more,
A silhouette-I shan't regret-
Whose face is but a floor.


My partner in this pirouette,
The setting of the sun,
And to be bled-a king sized bed-
A dream that is outdone.

The freedoms that I wielded once,
Stacked up against the sky.
Each fallacy-a galaxy-
To which I say goodbye.


Their cobwebs are incredulous
That I should ever come;
The only soul-I would extol-
Exacerbates their sum.

For if I should dismantle them
With knives laid end to end,
Unsex me here-is so austere-
Their lives I can't defend.

The author's comments:
I decided to start living my life as a dude in my freshman year of college, because it felt so right. But this meant giving up the feminine beauty and charm that society adores. I especially felt that loss in the spring, when girls are just starting to wear lush dresses and revealing clothing. Not too many people appreciate transgendered individuals. I went from having a huge dating life and being able to get any guy (or girl) that I wanted to feeling ugly, unwanted, and insignificant. This poem reflects those feelings of isolation and worthlessness during my struggle for physical beauty.

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