Why couldn’t you be the parent you were supposed to be?
It hurts that you couldn’t even hug me like you mean it.
Why did it have to turn out the way that it did?
I just wanted you to love me like I love you.
Love doesn’t amount to material things.
And yet, that is all you gave me.
Love is just being there to listen, to cry, and even laugh.
To sit on the couch and it not be awkward.
When I had to make a hard decision,
To just let me know that you cared no matter what.
To let me that you didn’t want me to go.
And not seeming as if you were on the losing side.
When I needed you to be a mother,
Instead of a best friend.
And yet, you weren’t even that.

Why couldn’t you be the parent you were supposed to be?
To bring me up with the right standards.
To give me something the world can’t offer.
But you didn’t and I screwed up a lot.
I went through a lot of things that you don’t know about.
But then again why would you?
I couldn’t talk to you without one of us blowing up.
Yelling, screaming, slamming doors.
All of which was just too much to take sometimes.
I did things I shouldn’t have done.
And now I have scars to prove it.

Why couldn’t you be the parent you were supposed to be?
Mothers are supposed to care.
To nurture.
To correct.
Be a shoulder to cry on.
To understand what I was going through.
But you weren’t.
And it hurts.
Hopefully one day,
You’ll realize how much you hurt me.
But yet, how much I love you anyways.