I'll be the one that got away.

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I tried so hard.
Can't you tell?

Oh, how I miss my natural black hair.
Which contrasted so perfectly with my blue eyes.
I loved my hair.
Until I found out you didn't.

So I spent hours and hundreds of dollars
Burning my scalp with bleach.
I wanted you so badly to like it.
But you didn't.

"I prefer girls with natural hair,"
You said.
My hair will never be just the way you like it,
Will it?

Even though that girl who you adore
Has hair so tortured by cheap hair dye,
That I wait for it to fall out everyday in math.

Oh, how I miss Coke and chocolate.
But I want to be thin for you.
I'm sorry that I have failed.

Every time I look into my fridge,
I see your disapproving face.
The face that would never give me a chance.
The eyes that will never give me a second glance.
And the mouth that will never speak to me.

You could make a bundle being a personal trainer.
Because just the thought of eating makes me sick.
And I workout until I am sore, just trying to have
A mildly acceptable body for you.
Just so you could be give a chance.

"I like girls with curves."
You said.
I guess I don't have the right curves.
My body will never be good enough for you,
Will it?

Oh, how I miss my edgy, black clothes.
But you didn't like them.
They arent your 'type'.

So I bought new clothes.
Clothes with a bit more color.
And a lot less stylish.
Clothes that are a little too tight
And a lot more low cut.

You didn't notice, did you?
"She's not my type."
You said to your friend.
I will never be your type,
Will I?

Do you have any idea
How many hours I spend obsessing in the mirror?
Do you know how much makeup I pile on
Just to make myself presentable for you?

Or that I'd give anything for a nose job?
That in a second, I'd remove every cent from my college account
to get it done?
And that sometimes I stay up all night,
Wishing I was pretty enough for you?

"She's ugly."
You said.
I will never be pretty,
Will I?

So I had one last option.
Maybe if I had an amazing personality.
Then just maybe,
It would make up for all my other faults.

I tried so hard to burst out of my shell.
To stop being so paralyzingly shy.
I tried so hard to be funny,
Just to make you laugh.
I tried so hard to be the kind of girl
You would like.

"I don't like her personality."
You said.
I will never have the right personality,
Will I?

I wish you would write down everything that is wrong with me.
So I can try to fix everything.
I wish I had the right hair color for you.
And I wish I had the kind of curves you like.
I wish I wore all the right clothes.
And I wish I had a pretty face for you.
I wish my personality wasn't so unbearable.
But most of all, I wish I didn't have to change for you.

But I'll continue trying so hard.
Cant you tell?





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