Tired...
Weary...
Sleepless...
I close my eyes but the rest won’t come.
Raising up I look around desperately longing for some form of comfort,
But all I see is darkness,
Darkness that swallows my soul.
Trembling.
Frightened.
Overwhelmed.
Slowly fading into a swirling daze.
My mind begins to cloud.
Thoughts dancing, twirling faster and faster through my head,
Like a ballet of death,
Sending me crashing down.
The pressure’s to great and all I can do is remember,
Remember how it all began.
Joy.
Peace.
Love.
I was once filled with all these things and more,
Before that day,
The day my soul died.
The room seemed so harmless,
Just a little darker than usual.
Why didn’t I see the door close behind me as I walked into a place I’d only heard of?
The darkness was frightening yet soothing at the same time.
It was exciting and so;
I let it take me over.
Before long it had softened my senses,
And it had complete control.
Then it happened.
I stumbled on to a bed of nails.
Pain...
Agony...
Torment...
Gasping for breath I felt the life slowly draining from my veins,
From my heart,
My soul.
My mind began to wonder as I slowly lost consenceness.
Then...
It was over.
The darkness had finally devoured my soul.
My eyes opened to the same sight, but a different feeling.
No feeling.
The numbness was strange at first but soon became a necessity.
Then,
A moment of fear and realization.
Slowly my fingers slid up to my throat.
No pulse.
Panic.
Terror.
But then,
A strange feeling of power rushed over me,
And I let out a chilling laugh.
Demons could be heard cackling along in the background.
Suddenly I realized I was still on the bed of nails,
Throwing me into another fit of hysteria for I now felt
Nothing
I became friends with me captors and wallowed in filth.
In the background was blood curdling screams and the chilling chanting of demons.
This was my home.
So blind I didn’t realize the decay.
Skin so pale,
Body so ill,
Heart so hard,
And my mind slowly withering away.
As time went on my condition grew worse,
Leading up now.
I lay on my bed of nails,
Unable to move,
Unable to breath.
The decay is so bad that soon,
I shall fall apart and become just another pile of dust.
Suddenly I feel a bit of hope as I remember the one who was once my best friend.
And with my last breath,
I whisper his name.
Jesus...
I slowly slip out of consenceness,
And into nothingness.
Then for the first time for the longest of times,
I see a light.
The fear’s overwhelming causing my body to tremble.
I can once again feel the cold.
The death..
The pain...
But wait.
I can feel.
Even though the pain is torture at least I can feel again.
But is it too late?
Is this my last pleasure before my last judgement,
Before I’m condemned to the awful, horrid place I deserve?
Wait.
Suddenly I feel I’m being lifted from my bed of agony.
My weak form is cradled in the arms of some crazy, loving creature.
Is it really him?
Is he really here?
He still cares after I slept with the enemy?
Yes.
The pain slowly fades as old friends fill its place.
Peace.
Warmth.
Love.
I’m finally alive again.
My prince charming carries me out the threshold of that door of deceit.
And I shake my head in disgust as the darkness calls to me soothingly,
Desperately wanting me back.
But I won’t go.
I’ve spent enough time among the dead for one lifetime.