Reminisce

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He lays there Restless from his frustration Mind racing like a cheatah that can't makeup his mind  but be lays there Pondering and wishing that his future matched with his imagination 
Or even that his past went a little better Remembering all the times he gave his all to the female he thought would return the favor  
And how she made him eat every sweet word he ever said to her
   This was a result of him doing everything but make her   
He remembers his swaying feelings and how his happiness only survived the moment  
And how in the end his heart was broke and he was forced to removedthe name that was on it
  Her namewas on it
  He could almost see it coming It happens everytime but he let's the next one proof herself  
But he saw it coming  
He remember the tears that he never wanted to shed  
He remembers his family reading the pain in his eyes and the hurt in his silence   
He remembers how he hoped that one would be different  
So many nights hed lay alone in bed Thinking of what to do to keep from violence   
He thought that one was different...
   His thoughts run as deep as the depths of the ocean even deeper than the lowest valley in earth
  He"d been a sweetheart since his early birth  
Nice to everyone especially his women...but what was it worth?  
Stayed faithful and treated them all right Seems pointless when ur heated and tears end Ur nights
  His significant past skips through his mind like little girls on the sidewalk as he lays there
  His presentdoesnt seem to matter but the sleep he loses sure does  
His future is only what he makes it so he ponders to plan his next move as be lays there.  
By default his actions make people smile Always putting hisself last n going the extra mile  
Where would his happiness come into play?
   When could he be the one with a bright face all day? 
He realisez he is on the bottom half of life and life itself is taking advantage of him He remembers everything as he lays there He knows he is being drained of his assets By the leeches that he comes into contact with almost daily  
Never daily because he doesn't mean that much to any of them.  
Yet he"ll do anything on the world for these leeches It's the women that matter the most to him  
Their reaction is what he cherishes
 Of the smile isn't ear to ear his mission isn't accomplished 
His arms always open and ears always attentive but is constantly laying there
No one to turn to
Yet of they only knew
But his smile was nowhere near In reality it was far from here ....and so he lays there.. 
He bites his trembling bottom lip as his eyes water   
He grabs a hand fullnof pillow and looks to theside as if the solution to the problem lay right beside him  
He squints then closes his eyes as a tear runs down his cheek like a runaway slave  He realisez he is on the bottom half of life and life itself is taking advantage of him He remembers everything as he lays there The tear runs sideways because he lays there  
His phone rings  
It's a text message adding to the 7 already waitin for him to read
  All 8 of them ask for a favor because all 8 of these people know the answer is yes 
None of them from the girl he was waitng on.
He assumes she"s busy
But really he is no one to them
He is an insignificant priority to the one he outa first: his own girlfriend
As for his collegues
They all thank him but they all will be back for more like starving voultures   
He can barely see the text because his vision is blurred from his eyes watering  His cell phone is the only source of light in the room.  
Hebshakes his head as he turns his phone off....Then heblays there  
He takes a deep breath.
  Almost as deep as his thoughts  
Never as deep as the wounds in his heart But that's not the only war he has fought Women weren't his only thorn  
But women is all he thought he had to earn  
Night afternight he lays there.  
Love bleeding the the air he exhales  
He has too much.  
But he's waiting for the right female  
As soon as he finds her he will unleash all of his passion freely and gladly on her Freely and gladly because it is a mere exchange
  Nothing like his past because things has changed 
Be deserves better than what he has been receiving  
This day he imagines as he lays there. Trusting God to send her  Knowing she won't pop up is knowing he can't just lay there.
  But he"z suppose to be sleep so he lays there  
He looks like be is counting sheep cause he"z only laying there.
   I should know because he is me.  
And I wrote this as I laid there  





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