The Choice | Teen Ink

The Choice

May 20, 2011
By ksongh BRONZE, McDonough, Georgia
ksongh BRONZE, McDonough, Georgia
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

I came inside a dark gloomy cellar,
My hair piled up in a messy bun,
With orange clothing covering every inch of my skin,
My wrists was chained and shunned.

They threw me in with locks and bars,
Leaving me there alone.
Leaving me there, alone and cold,
Gazing upon the puddle dripping silently on the stone.

Wearily, I leaned down staring inside the cool, dense pool,
Expecting to see my reflection stare back,
Instead I saw a different girl,
Whose inner soul had lacked.

This girl was unlike any,
Any, that I have ever seen,
Copying every movement I made,
Even my deepest emotions which I kept unseen.

I didn’t recognize this person staring back,
This girl looked cold and mean.
Her face was pale, despite her eyes,
Which was dark as the midnight sea.

Her skin was old and weak with stress,
Disguising her age and youth.
Her teenage beauty had been erased,
Like a flower withering before its bloom.

The luscious hair that she had once possessed,
Hung low in a sickly manner,
The sun-kissed skin that had glowed like the sun,
Sagged, chalk white like ghosts in their hunting hour.

Her eyes like dull onyx, flickered signs of sorrow and grief,
Her once beautifully built body was frail and lean.
Only then, only then have I realized,
That this ruined girl was me.

I touched my face, afraid it’ll break,
And traced my tired eyes.
Scared at what I had become,
A look-alike demon of the nighttime sky.

Even as I sat there, terrified of myself,
Something inside me laughed.
Laughed at the fate my choices had brought,
Laughed at the damage I’ve done.

I sat there gazing, gazing dazedly at my dying self,
Stunned at how much I changed,
Wishing someone was there to hold me tight,
To whisper calming thoughts of how I’ll be okay.

There was no sound entering my mind,
Despite the prisoners wailing screams,
My mind was only set to my past,
Searching for the mistake that had locked me in.

I thought back and realized that this all lead to
That one despiteful day,
That day when I had made a choice,
That will one day choose my fate.

It was just a normal happy summer night,
When my friends called out to come and play.
I had no worries, inexperienced with true pain,
So what they had offered was just another game.

I tried it out and past out,
For the next couple of hours,
Having not a clue at what had happened,
During my rampage dance of horror.

Seeing that I was fine the next morn
Made me continue this awful game.
I wish I could go back and stop myself
To prevent me from being the same.

Same as those who committed crimes,
Who betrayed, lied, and more.
Cheating and stealing and killing then dying
With regrets at the Hell’s gate doors.

I had done the same, just to have a little fun,
Destroying my way through life.
Fun that I thought would cause no harm
And this thought alone was the mistake I made
This was trigger that had set the alarm.

And now I sit, in the cold, in the dark,
No one is here to hold me.
Time ticks by, my life slowly dies,
As I wait till my heart beat its last
Creating the final chapter of my evil lies.

I’m sitting, I’m waiting.
I’m waiting, I’m sitting.
Just waiting for time to end,
And then when I thought I’ll lose myself,
I heard a glorious voice in my head.

This voice was beautiful,
Like the cherubs of heaven,
Singing to me from the skies.
For a moment I thought that God had allowed me to heaven,
But then an irritable banging came nearby.

I opened my hazy, blinded eyes,
To see who had disturbed my fantasy.
There before me, I saw a man,
Who appeared to be the police.

I stared back stoically,
Without a thought of panic in my mind,
Not caring what he’ll do.
Seeing how my life had already expired,
Without anything of value to lose.

However this man merely threw a glance towards my way,
And brought in a frightened woman in.
This woman looked around, searching for something?
Her face was exposing a distressed chagrin.

This woman looked around hastily,
And finally turned to say,
“Where?! Where could she be?!
Please…point me to her way…”

I couldn’t hear anything after these sobs,
To stunned to say a word.
For this was the voice that had lingered in my heart,
From many years ago.

This was the angelic voice that had always helped me,
Even in my shadowy dreams.
And now after all these cursed years,
Is the angel finally seen.

I smiled towards her, a smile full of love,
A feeling of happiness pierced me.
Tears sprang from my eyes, despite my previous cries,
As I stood up for her to see me.

The women’s gaze shifted towards me,
But she said not a word,
And my recent feeling of bliss
Evaporated as she turned.

As my guardian angel headed back towards the exit gates,
To leave me to die with the dead forever more,
My last ounce of control fell,
And my soul was left again with the soulless poor.

I heard a chuckle.
I felt a flesh burning breath,
And when I looked back to the cell’s dark corner,
I saw Hade’s fire dancing with death.

Adrenaline pulsed inside me,
And I headed for my escape.
The angel who could offer me the key of release,
The angel that could embrace me with her holy cape.

But as I got nearer,
My path was destroyed.
The infernal devil had slammed the bars,
And the angel was getting further and further away.

My carefree mask crumbled,
And I sank to my knees.
I begged for her to wait,
As I felt my heart bleed.

She looked at me with a curious stare,
Wondering why a stranger had called out for her,
A stranger was all that I was to her now,
A criminal, a caged animal, a beast never to be freed into the world.

I hoisted my weak body
And commanded it to move,
Stretching my skeleton arms through the bars,
Flesh was decaying from the lack of food.

She stepped back,
And I couldn’t place her with the blame,
For I knew I had took the appearance of the devil’s bride
From the picture the puddle had framed.

“I’m sorry…” I murmured,
And she stepped closer to hear my broken words.
Fright disappearing,

Eyes recognizing,
Her body was trembling as I spoke,
And she heard…

“Remember…please remember,
Please remember, please….
The child who neglected your words and left…
Remember mom, it’s me…”


The author's comments:
I wrote this poem to scare myself from becoming one of high school's stereotypes. Seeing people fall into high school pressures made me realize how easy it is to turn from your original dreams, and I hope other people will also realize this before it is too late.

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