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Before

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I miss when i'd listen to
backstreet boys
and b*witched.
i'd wear ripped overalls.
and play disney princesses
with the kids down the street.
my mom would give me a freezepop
and tell me she loved her baby girl
and i would scrunch up my face
and say
i'm not a baby.
i miss wearing one pigtail
directly on each side of my head.
i would always wonder
how my mom liked my dad, he was a boy!
she'd always tell me,
baby girl, you'll understand someday, i promise.
i'd scrunch up my face
and say
i'm not a baby. boys are gross.
i'd watch my mom and dad
dance in the hallway late at night
when they thought no one was watching.
i'd sit on the top step of the stairs
and think
maybe that will be me one day
maybe someday i'll understand
maybe someday someone will dance with me
in the pitch black of the night
while MY baby girl sits and watches,
wondering the same exact things.
i remember playing with barbies
and wishing i was as perfect as she was.
now i look back and wish someone had told me
i was perfect just the way i am
i remember sitting on my little mermaid sheets
thinking about how i just wanted to be older.
i would lay there and imagine myself to be
this disney princess version of myself, only older.
i wish someone had told me not to be scared
of that disnosaur that still lives under my bed.
i wish someone would have helped
me become the person i am today
i wish someone had warned me
that when that someone,
who you're gunna dance with late at night
in the hallway of your perfect life,
enters your vision
it knocks you over
and no matter how hard you try to get up
you just can't





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