You get that look in your eyes
and then you angle your lips
to form the saddest shape i've ever seen.
And it's things like that which cause me to go to bed at night,
feeling like the bad guy.
Your eyes start to droop down and suddenly
all of this guilt rushes towards me
and it takes all the energy I have
to resist touching you.
I always give in and tell you it's okay because i've never seen anyone
look that sad,
but today I didn't.
Today I layed next to you as you held my limp hand
and I wanted to turn around
and smile at you
and see your lips form the shape i'm used to,
but I didn't.
I didn't give in and now I feel horrible
and sometimes I wish I wasn't so sensitive.
Sometimes I wish I was an entirely different person
that perhaps couldn't feel anything
and didn't care about anything,
because then we would never have any problems.
I would never feel regret
and I would never feel guilt.
I wouldn't feel.
I wouldn't even feel love a
nd maybe that would be better than this.