February 4, 2008
By Joseph Vanden Avond, De Pere, WI

“Let’s just be friends.”
“Let’s take a break.”

Your lines are more than I can take.
“Don’t be mad when I say this, okay?”

I would rather you say nothing

or “I have herpes”

or “I’m gay.”
“I’m just not ready for a relationship.”
“I just need some space.”

It wouldn’t be so hard

if you would just say it to my face.
“I love you, but I’m not in love with you.”
“Things are moving way too fast.”

You need some time to be single?

Well, baby, you can kiss my ass.

Of course I understand,

but the truth hurts, you see.

Don’t worry, babe—I know it’s you.

Because it sure as hell ain’t me.

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