Not There Yet

Searching for that inspiration again
Longing for that feeling of being something
I always dream of opening my eyes up to the night sky and not being disappointed

Waking up to one day being in a new world
Where my life means something greater than myself
I try so hard to make a difference but I never seem to fit the standards

When I’m trying to find those words to speak out
Just when I think I know what it is I want to say
I get tongue tied and can’t find myself anymore

Out side of my self watching me from above
Wondering if I am the only one who feels like this
With all my thoughts running wild
I try to rain them in again

I try to step out side of the trend and make my self memorable
Yet I get sucked back up it life, worrying about all the little things that mean nothing at all.

I seem to be my own worst enemy
And they say you can never win against your self
So only I get hurt in this war I’m fighting

Trying to push the thoughts of those pains away
While the other side of me
Sees all too clearly how much pain and scaring that has been made
Only to be shot down again by someone else needing me
And ripping open those newly healed scars again

Little do they know all I want to do is help
But I always seem to hurt myself more each time
Trusting to easily has always been my weak spot

But not anymore I will make a difference
By moving on, setting limits
I have to be there for my self sometimes too

And I hope you remember me as the girl
Who sold it all to live a life she always dreamed of
Where when she looked up at the night sky
There happened to be stars looking back at her this time





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