I remember waking up on that desert floo

January 23, 2008
By
I remember waking up on that desert floor.I was so scared and tired.And my eyes were sore.

Coldness over took me as I heard people calling.
I couldn't believe this was happening it seemed the whole world was falling.

I don't remember what exactly happened i guess from the shock of it all.Even now after its all sad and done Im still afraid.I only remember swerving, my car going way too fast.As me and my friend tried to take grasp.

The car flipped many times through and through.
I was a young driver, what was I suppose to do.
No drinking or drugs were involved that night, it was just an accident of life.I was the driver and couldn't control my car.I feel ashamed for putting those I love in danger, even if it had been a stranger.No one got hurt except me and I thought it was punishment like my life wasn't suppose to be.

Shouldn't I have seen this coming?Did I deserve this?
I can only ask myself what if's and how it could have been.Even now thoughts of the helicopter and emergency room play in my head.
Knowing that on that very night I could be dead.
I think this really happened becasue I was suppose t see who my true friends are and can call for help for me.

I take responsibilty for my actions through and through. Not only for making me suffer but my whole familt too.I keep plaing back that night.
I should have been home in bed.Not going out for a drive.

I am truly sorry for the mistakes I've done but I can't change them now.It will never change.
I must live with decisions for the rest of my life.
Even as I become a mother and wife.
Maybe I can teach my children to value their life.
Before it's to late and there are no seconds chances.

The mistakes in our lives become experiences.
Im only 16 and look what they have done to me.
I will never be the same not mentally, physically, or personally again.Always asking myself if I was worth living and obviously God thought something I had was worth giving.To my family and friends and worth while for them just to hear my voice or think or smile.

I feel I had angels watching over me that day or I wouold not be here to say dont regret anything.
Not a smile, kiss, or a hug even from those you think badly of.Say I love you everyday because who knows it may be your last.For as we all know nothing lasts.

My name is Amanda and Im a bad driver but forgive me for I never thought a highschooler who is a good student would ever get hurt.These moments now I realize dont last, it can be gone in a second with a single car crash.





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