January 23, 2008
By Kerri Buschbacher, Congers, NY

I’m in a daze
This plain white page
Is making blank my thoughts on pain
With each word typed
My fingers ache
All of this torment
For your sake.

Eye to eye.
Stream of pain.
When I look into you
I know I’m not okay.
You must let go.
I must get going
Before my empty heart starts showing.

Trying to feel
Searching for words
Thinking about everything that I heard.
I can’t keep you out of my mind
I’m defining things I can’t define.
I’m looking for things I can’t find.
This heart of yours-this heart of mine.

The laughter and joy
Not worth it now
The pain I feel
It’s all too real.
The tears that flow
From eye to chin
Remind me of what should’ve been.

But now I’m here.
Writing words on a page.
Was once blank,
Now filled with rage
Disguised as hurt
Disguised as fear
Disguising me as you disappear.

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