Heaven's Fourth of July

April 23, 2011
Shooting star, there it goes.
Make a wish fast as lightening.
Do it quick though,
while the sky's still brightening.

Streaming lights here and there.
Mind amazed at so much wonder.
My muscles jump at the sound of thunder.
There goes one more pair.

Only come few times a year.
Meteor showers with great light.
How i wish it was more near.
Surely here to show God's might.

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LoudDreamer said...
Nov. 28, 2011 at 1:10 pm
I like this, It is very good, and dose wonders with images, but I think it's odd that the rhyme scheme changes every stanza. It's not bad, I just think it needed work. Perhaps if ther were more stanza, it would feel like there was a pattern between the two rhyme schemes you used. I regret to tell you that I'm giving it two stars, but im telling you so you know that you didn't just get that rating from some random person who dosen't care, but one who wants to see you... (more »)
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