Growing up without him was a pain. Dreaming of his name was a mistake. Learning who he was by living with him was shame. He wasnt the father i hoped he'd be. All the pain i felt from him. Teaching me how to hate myself. Teaching me how to hate the world. Making it to were i learned a harmful way to excape the inner pain i felt deep in my heart and soul. I wish he was the father i hoped he'd be. But he wasnt the one i hoped he'd be. He wasnt that kind sweet man i dreamt of for years. Being a child growing up in a wrong way. I know for what he taught me to never teach or treat my child the way he treated me. He was heartless which i'll show the world i am far from what he is like. He lies to the world to act like he is a good man when in fact he is not. So open your heart and let the world see i am far from what he is. A father is the man who helped make you. But dad/daddy is the man you trust and who has taught you right from wrong.
The father he wasnt
April 21, 2011