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The Mustache Lament
He cackles often,
 shaking the fibers of my hairy caricature
 with the high-pitched quips
 of another
 maniacal guffaw.
 
 “You’ll never get away with it!”
 she cries in a girlish tremor,
 the town’s damsel in perpetual distress,
 as Snidely ties her to the
 fluid, leaping train tracks,
 sweat dripping into my coat.
 
 “Oh, but I have you this time!”
 He exclaims
 Stroking my waxed apexes
 which form a second smile
 above his own
 antagonistic grin.
 
 He twiddles his thumbs,
 feeling very pleased, it seems,
 with another apparently
 Flawless Plan,
 missing the mistakes,
 which seem to me,
 As evident as a
 Cartoon-blast explosion
 
 I can feel the shudders of
 his quivering lips
 as he ponders the preposterous possibility
 of fitting 100 canvas sacks
 with the declaratory dollar sign
 into our get-away wheelbarrow.
 
 I wonder if he knows
 He is but a shadow of a scoundrel
 a mere silhouette of villainy.
 his true heinous legacy
 the comic ineptness of his crimes.
 
 And now,
 from beneath his angled nose,
 The point of which obscures
 my well-coifed center.
 I can feel the grin
 make its sad descent,
 a frown appearing
 as the hero makes his entrance
 on the crude horizon.
 
 Foiled again? I want to ask
 as pointedly
 as my oiled tips will allow.
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