I sit alone in my room

January 17, 2008
I sit alone in my room,
no light but a candle burns.
Tears start pouring from my eyes,
I have so many concerns.

In my hand I hold a kitchen knife,
the sharpest I could find.
I take a long deep breath,
and slowly close my eyes.

What if I just did it?
I could leave this world behind.
Dessert my body and sorrows,
free my soul and mind.

The candle flickers and dims,
reminds me of my life.
Once I was so happy,
my future was so bright

The tears are falling faster now,
my heart begins to race.
I close my eyes again,
and picture my beautiful mother’s face.

I’ve been such a disappointment,
so much so I wish I could die.
I wish that I could take it all back,
but I can’t, no matter how hard I try.

Suddenly my eyes snap open.
How can I think these thoughts?
After all the hugs she has given me,
all the presents she has bought?

Everyday she raises me,
to be strong willed and free.
And yet I want to kill myself.
How selfish can I be?

Years have passed,
and no one knows,
about that night so long ago.

You might not know it, Mommy,
but that night I might have died,
but instead I pictured your face.
You’re the one that kept me alive.

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