I’m sorry mom and dad for flunking out of Pency Prep.
Instead of my virginity, it’s my grades I should have kept
I’m also sorry to the sexy bastard, Stradlater
it’s just that your lack of hygiene couldn’t make me madder
And of course, I apologize to Ackley, that liar
but your welcome in my room has expired
and I can’t help it if you’re too god damn dull
to realize that all your sex stories sound like bull
In addition, I’m sorry to my little brother Allie, who’s dead
If I could, I’d have God take my life instead
Next, I’m sorry Mr. Spencer- you really did teach history well
but I wouldn’t choose Egypt over hell
Furthermore, I’m sorry to the prostitute Sunny
but it wasn’t very nice of Maurice to take all my money
Lastly, I’m sorry Phoebe, for worrying you so
it’s just that you’re the only girl that isn’t a hoe
You were the only person that didn’t make me yell or cry
I’ll invite you to my field when I become a catcher in the rye
But most of all, I’m sorry for wasting everyone’s time and writing this god damn book
My own life I ought to have took