This is good-bye.

June 12, 2008
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My heart is held on a thin string.
My eyes begin to water as I wait for it to fall and break. (It was never enough for me)
This life I lead is worthless. I don’t know who I am anymore.
I don’t understand why this keeps hurting; it keeps (beating) and (beating) this devastation.
I can’t escape it. How hard it is for me to breathe!
I never meant for it to be this way. I tried. I swear I did. I wanted to hold on.
But now you’re holding the scissors. And my eyes follow you like eagles as you cut the string.
I can feel it leave me: my heart and soul. You begin to cry and I don’t understand why. This is what I asked for. My one last wish. Don’t apologize.
Just be here with me now as I wait for my last sunrise.
Yes, you can hold my hands. I won’t let go. (But I’m giving up.)
I’m giving up.
I’m sorry. Don’t tell me to stay. You know that I can’t.
No matter how much this hurts you, it’s hurting me a thousand times worse.
Yes, I wish you could have taken away. But baby, it’s too late.
And my heart is bleeding out on the floor.

Is it just me or is there a light waiting on the other side?
Baby, stop crying. Please. (Baby) Please.
I’ll be here (in your heart) forever.
This is not the way it’s supposed to be.
Baby, I’m losing you. (I’m losing you.)
I can feel you trying to hold on to me; to make me believe that your love could be enough.
But, baby, this is the end. You can’t save me. (Please save me.)
Don’t be scared. (I’m so scared.)
I can feel it become slower (I’m running out of breath)
Your words-they shake me.
I won’t ever forget. (“Why wasn’t I enough?")
Baby, there’s no tomorrow for me. It’s over. (It’s over)
I look at you with tears in your eyes and I know that it’s time to say (goodbye.)
I whisper (Remember me.) And with broken sadness, you reply, “Always.”
Baby, I wished that it was all I had with you. Too late, I’m sure.
Good-bye’s the only way.
And tonight the stars are all yours.

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