Loving pain

March 6, 2011
I feel like I’m being stabbed
It’s my decision whether to feel the pain or not
Right now I’m being pricked
Every turn of the knife is a new feeling
The feelings before the new one’s are still there
Making everything so much harder
I wish I could scream and pull the knife out but I can’t
Almost like I’m enjoying the pain
Or maybe I don’t want to let go of the knife because it’s been in me for so long
What makes the pain worse is the person who’s stabbing me
She looks away like she doesn’t care
Uninterested in my pain
Pushing the knife in me further she’s saying she’s sorry and wants to stop
That’s a lie
She says if she stops ill be unhappy with life
Life sucks, period
Then she looks at me and says “I’ll disappoint you”
The pain comes
Searing, throbbing pain
I start to cry and look up at my friend
“Disappointment is only one feeling you can have in life” I cry out
“And so is love, are you really going to take that away from me?”
She nods and puts the dagger to my heart

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