I'm seeking

January 6, 2008
By Shary Rodriguez, Gardena, CA

I may seem like a happy girl,
but I'm really not
I don't know where she is
I don't know who she is
She is gone
Her absence hurts
even if she is not there to inflict pain,
I don't remember her
I want her back
Because she's me
And I'm gone
And the shadow of my soul is disappearing
It's fading in the wind
To the point of not existing anymore

My darkness is clear
But its cause is not
This are just my feelings
What is so wrong,
About feeling so dead?
No human being knows the self- destruction that is going on with in me

I feel like reaping my heart out
So I won't feel
If at least a small piece is left of it
But I know it is there
The valves of my heart still love breathe
From the One I mean the world to
The One that saves me everyday from my doom
For He is the One I love too

He knows I need to heal
Something only He can do
He will always be there for me
By my side to protect me
I need Him because without Him I know I'll die
And sometimes I think I can't take it
And I can't, not alone
Not in a million years...alone
But He always comes and saves me
With his care, love , and peace
Brings me back near His side
Where I need to be
Where I long to stay
When I have dug a hole for myself
Leaving everything inside
Waiting to explode
Still, even more than that
I have seen enough dark
I need to see some light
At least some

I have finally opened my eyes
To see His guiding light
Lets me stumble
Catches me on time
No matter what
I will always have Him
I will love Him forever
My beautiful Lord God

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