Tired of Trying

December 15, 2007
By David Artsvelian, Glendale, CA

I’ve lived my life as if I’m on automatic,
I’m going too fast, sometimes I can’t understand it
In the end after years of success and defeat,
Years of playing a game that can’t truly be beat,
I think back on the truth from a new level of thinking,
Think back to when everything around me was sinking
Falling into the dark,
I wake up with a start,
And I realize that all that’s passed was only a dream,
I have to live for right now, not the moments between.
And In truth I tried as hard as I could
To conquer my doubts, and in the end remain good,
But now it’s been years since I fell from the top down,
After all that fussing and fighting, someone else is holding the crown,
I feel like I’m alone and I truly can’t understand,
How life’s fortune can suddenly change hands,
And as I think I describe me to myself,
Thinking maybe in the end at least that will help,
In my mind I’m a fighter,
With the soul of a writer,
And my heart’s just on fire,
Since these written words inspire.
But at the end of the day, trying just isn’t enough,
I’ll never be what you wanted and now I’m just up.
My visions getting dense, everything’s going hazy,
I keep overthinking about you, and this is driving me crazy,
I know I’ve tried to the limits I can try,
Now its all over, no reason to sit and cry,
I’m not good enough for you now and I never will be,
No matter how much I try nobody ever sees.
The lies are overrated, the truth is underestimated
confliction between the two destroys all we’ve created,
I’m tired of trying to make the entire world pleased,
Peoples ambitions have left countless deceased,
I have no clue who I was, don’t accept what I’ve become,
And now its on me, I’m finally saying,
that I’m done.

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