The children say they can’t hold it any longer, but they’re going to have to…or else. After talking to a rehabilitated public defecator, I have found that for these convicts it is more about the thrill than the need to go. These criminals get a rush from clandestinely defecating in public areas. It’s like a cocaine addiction, and they just can’t stop it.

Ethics aren’t the same as what they used to be. Kids are running wild around Milwaukee with no respect for the laws. These culprits have been convicted of public defecation before, and are continuing to do so.

Scientists concur that these problems began in their youth, when parents failed to potty train. These hooligans are insane if they think they can get away with anything like this in our city. This flagrant disregard for the law must cease.

Please help our local authorities in the fight against public defecation. If you or someone you know has any information leading to the arrest of any of these thugs there may or may not (probably not) be a reward. These delinquents must be put under duress, for these inexorable crimes.