unbearable silence

January 13, 2011
By , albany, NY
They say "tread lightly"
but what if I don't?
What if I go against the grain?
If I be who I want to be who will it hurt?
I've kept silent so long, I'm not sure where I am anymore
This place is dark and cold
it's not at all like the place I've imagine living in
the people in this silent world do not see ME
They do not see who I want them to see
they see the person I've been pretending to be
I've feared most what my parents would think
would they still love me if I was a little different?
I've always felt different but who am I to judge?
I've been told "to judge is to hurt" and I don't want to hurt
but I hurt anyways
I've never said anything
I've done nothing wrong
but I long for people to know the real me
to finally be seen the way I see myself, in the mirror
the pain I digest with every lie I must tell to cover the truth
its becoming unbearable
I want to be loved unconditionally
not half-hearted
I break open and run free in my dreams
because there, nobody cares
there, I'm just another person dying to come out...

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