Splattered Colors

January 9, 2011
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I'm as white as a lonely snowflake
slowly fluttering down into nothingness.
The nothingness is full of
unneeded emotion.
Wanting to let out all my emotions even if they all will be stomped on as children who play in the snow
Instead I sit back
in my chair and daydream.
I realize how life is as soul sucking as a couple lost in each others eyes.
Life could be a great
beautiful light orange
thats full of peacefulness
laughter
and love
for me if people would just leave me alone.
I could do whatever I want to.
I could live a dream.
But like a drug
once you see this creative, foolong, depressing blue it seems impossible to escape from.
But inside me
is a blackness that scares even me.
When I sleep it haunts me.
It wants to isolate from my friends and family till im I'm completely gone in my own little world.
A world where my deepest fears come to life.
The blackness wants me to shut down.
It wants to take control.
This scary blackness inside,
my deep emotion fills me with nothing but a ruthless terror of life.
It makes me think.
Is life even worth all the struggle.
I say i'm fine but
the truth is I'm terrified.
The blackness scares me in my dreams so much that some nights I lay in bed terrified to go to sleep.
You may think that you know me but you really dont.
you dont know how I feel or how I live
and you most certaintly dont know what I think about....
So before you judge the way I act, dress, or anything like that be consious of the colors that surround me





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