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untitled poem

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its a feeling i can't shake
i dont know what to feel
im confuse and weary i want this to be different
so many thing change in life
i just cant't keep up
i try something new and its like running thought traffic
i want this to be different but i cant seem to shake the feeling
of someone near me touchin i cant feel the air they breathe
it like a cold winter night but expect it a 100 dergees outside
why i feel this way i
i have no clue but its deep down in me and it
won't go away im stuck in this conditin i make excuses for everyday
it's because of this or because of that i act this way but really i have
no idea wat but i have one it's jus the devil in me but i won't let go
i say i want to but it this hurt in side dat holds on tight
i cant do this
alone but i know only person that can help me is me and jesus
i call on him to help me out of the situation and to be
forgive of all sin
but i turn around and do them again
so why is it like this
im clueless but i will find out its hard
being this way i say it need this and i need dat
i want this and i want that
it all jus sex, drugs, fakes and lies
but i am so real i say i have done
the unthinkable if u could imagine
but i hope u dont the things
i been through with friends and
family and unknown strangers
aint no joke i cry every nite wit tears runnin
down my face
i cry so much my cry out loud is silent
to everyone its like im invisble until im wanted again
so wat is this feelin i have that deep inside
that i cant hide its fear
of everything, everybody i see and hear
why the stuff i've done i think is unforgiveable
and jus dirty and wrong disgusting and shamefull
fear or what other might think and see and say about me
but i never thought about the consqence dat come after
the lies the deiceit the hate and much more
no cause i dont think
of wat i do the rumors my image but do i think no
i jus do it but i no it's wrong
so why


to please and satisfy others need no matter if it hurt me or not
please dont try to imagine wat this peoms is about cause i know for wat i
do
but it hurts so bad i jus cant turn way
for if you do understand this
no sympanthy for me
i jus want you to understand the thing i go through
no blame on no one
not my family of my friends
i chose this road why i dont no
but once you been hurt you cant go back
to the way it was before
i been hurt mentally, pshcyially,verbally
and the pain i feel
is more than i can imagine
anyone one feelin
i no others been hurt before
so this feelin this pain i cant shake off
or turn away it's pain its fear
and if any can hear me cry out
help i dont i like this feelin
but how do i turn it off
but for now im jus going to
play the game of my life in fear
and hopefully one day i can shake this pain
and walk away from fear with
my head up and finally say NO
from THE SCENT OF FEAR AND THE TOUCH OF PAIN
AND HAVE GOD IN MY LIVE ONCE AGAIN.





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