A Poem for Him

December 18, 2007
How long can this be hidden?
From my friends,
From you.
This rollercoaster we've ridden
Won't stop.
Won't slow down.
But maybe you won't see
It in my eyes.
In my voice.
Or maybe you sit quietly,
Feeling this,
Loving me.
From so far, I see your smile.
Is it for me?
Or for her?
We've been friends a while.
Why friends?
I want more.
I try to convince myself to lie.
I don't want it.
Don't like you.
But I fail as you walk by.
And smile.
And wave.
Can you read my shallow veil?
Just ignore it.
Don't let on.
Maybe one day you'll follow this trail.
Follow me.
Let's fall in love.
Maybe I'll learn to hide.
How I feel.
What I know.
For now I'll hold it deep inside.
Do you see?
Could you know?
I can't hold it in too long.
I'll close my eyes.
And try to dream.
I sit and listen to the song
You said to try.
And I did.
So, let's just ignore the urge
To be
But I can feel the static surge
Pulling you
To me.

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