My friend I have helped you through hard times, as you do I
Yet you don’t really know how much I hide
Although we are the best of friends
I really don’t think you will understand
I can’t tolerate the hurt, I can’t put up with the pain
It’s a feeling of deadness that I can’t explain

This is the road in which I walk alone
It’s full of hope, crushed and broken
And always angry for no reason at all
Just wanting to end this brawl
Hating myself over and over and over again
Sometimes I wish my life to end

And mom is depressed but chooses to hide
She takes out her anger on those at her side
She doesn’t understand that I am trying to help
She tunes me out and cries on her bed

And Grandpa is enduring an inescapable fate
Sickness has him due on a date
I hate to see another innocent person
Become another cancer victim

Many of my friends are hurt as well
Thinking that they are going thru hell
Too many friends are wanting to stop
They think that suicide is the only opt

But inside me is the worst hurt of them all
I don’t know how long I can keep standing tall
All my happy thoughts are running away
Because the bad ones are coming out to play

Nothing I can do will make her proud
There is no light coming through her clouds
And I am the rainstorm, filled with dark black skies
With a chilling rainfall full of lies

I only wish I could make her see
The person I am trying to be
The one she can trust and love
Instead she tells me I am not good enough

Everything I do is a wrong decision
She constantly tells me I am not livin
The path that she wants me to take
And that I am just a mistake

If I could I would erase my life from here
So I wouldn’t have to live in this fear
I also wish I could be skinny
And always be happy, fun, and giddy

Instead I look at myself in the mirror
Disappointed in the reflection that appears
It’s hard to live when you don’t love who you are
Wishing that you could take me far

Everyday I make a note
About how much would I be missed if I decided to go?
And how much hurt makes me lean towards the edge
Because it’s creeping up the hedge
How much longer will I last?
Before I make my life become part of the past.