I Danced In My Sleep

December 4, 2010
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I danced in my sleep- and felt a rush, a touch, of gold; in which engulfed me
and then my soul was sold.
I felt an emptiness down deep- and even with a shadow hovering above I would
gracefully have shined; brighter and more brilliant, my radiance would be
I had become a reliable witness- and drank in all that was around to be found
with an eye sharp for even the most intricate of detail; never again would I
loose my strength or look frail.
I conquered fear with fitness- and combated all underlying distractions by
finding the indestructible strength I held within my chest; the heart that
pulses tirelessly underneath my breast.
I fought sadness I never believed would go away- and beat it senseless instead
of allowing it to build like it had done; finally I took a stand, I took a stand
and I won.
I leaned forward, eyes closed, I did not wish to see the world on display- and I
spoke softly (ever so softly) whispering a gentle hush and after years of
silence on feelings never spoken; my mouth had gone to open; and out came
pouring "I had once been lonely, my past brought me sorrow and my only comfort
brought me pain, but it's time I say what's on my mind, for I am no longer
No, now I shall fight with every last beat of my heart- and prove that I am not
weak (if I can speak) for my eyes have seen immoral things, my ears have heard
injustice, and my spirit has felt pain nobody should have had to go through; yet
maybe in those final moments before I slip into sleep I will think of pleasant
things to awaken to.
Now as I peacefully rest my reality begins to fade- and I drift into another
dimension, a world in which I pay attention, where beauty is unavoidable because
it lingers in the air; and as long as you can imagine, anything can go on in
I grasp a concept and study the structure in which my mind tears at it, ripping
through it as if it were a razor blade- and in dreams there is no such thing as
absurd or unheard; anything can work in a world of creation for it comes to life
with my word.
I believe in those fairy tails I read as a child- and I know of magic that casts
over millions with not even a slight trace; the spell that falls upon us- love,
the most euphoric experience to ever take place.
I have no knowledge of perfection but I assume it would be in these dreams in
which I have smiled- and this is where love is the aura in which I bask; this is
the world where my personality unveils and I am left the girl without the mask.

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This article has 8 comments. Post your own now!

TwasBrilling said...
Jul. 27, 2011 at 9:15 am
Magazine worthy!
CarolynQ replied...
Jul. 28, 2011 at 1:42 pm
Thanks so much <3 I really wish I would be published, I would be so proud.
ohheyyyelli said...
Jul. 23, 2011 at 3:23 pm
So brilliant. Imagery, metaphors, flow, perfect.[:
CarolynQ replied...
Jul. 23, 2011 at 5:07 pm
Thanks a lot =]
GangstaEyes This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 20, 2011 at 10:05 am
 I can relate to this a lot.... I love love LOVE the part: "I conquered the fear with fitness - and combated all underlying distractions by finding the indestructable strength I held within my chest; the heart that pulses tirelessly underneath my breast." GREAT imagery. I would also advise you break it up a little. I'm all for long flowing poems, I don't break all of mine into stanzas, but each line is a little lengthy. Amazing job regardless :) I have a poem kind of like this called "I am ... (more »)
CarolynQ replied...
Jun. 20, 2011 at 10:44 am
I would love to check it out. Thankyou for reviewing my poetry and leaving such nice comments I really appreciate it I'll be sure to do the same for you! And yeah I had it seperated but I copy pasted it and somehow it didn't come out the same.. :/ but at least it didn't mess up really bad.
NinjaGirl This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 18, 2011 at 2:36 pm
This is a wonderful poem. It really spoke to me as a reader because you get your point across so clearly, while you also use great detail. In the future, I'd kindly suggest separating your longer poems into stanzas, as organizing them like that makes it easier to read. Besides that, I loved it! I'm brand new to the site, but I'd very much appreciate it if you could take a look at my page in a couple weeks when I've got a few things up and read/rate/comment on them! Thanks! :D
CarolynQ replied...
Jun. 19, 2011 at 5:15 pm
Thanks for the critique, I had them set up into stanzas but when I copy pasted it it didn't exactly seperate into how I had it. I'm glad you enjoyed reading it though!!! I most definetly will be taking a look at your work! Once I see that stuff has been posted I'll give you my feedback :)
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