December 2, 2010
I can’t help thinking it will never happen.

Not here, the place I entrusted with every wish.

I’ve found it so hard to adapt in.

A life is not something I know how to establish.

I know that I can hardly say that I’m trying;

Being stationary is my habit.

I’d much prefer the ground to flying,

But down in the dirt I’ll never grab it.

I can’t help thinking it will never happen

Not with him, even though I hoped.

Reality is different from what I imagined.

I guess it’s alone that I will have to cope.

He cares, but I’ll always wish for more.

I’m afraid he’d think I was needy if I asked for advice.

There is one thing I now know in my core:

All good things come with a price.

I can’t help thinking it will never happen.

Not with them, not with anyone at all.

My days are just continuing to blacken.

Can I please just curl up into a ball?

The fact is I don’t know how to be me anymore.

So I’ll just fade until there is nothing left.

I’m the one who is quickly outworn.

Diminished, broken down, bereft.

On a day like this when I only see in gray,

The only thing that gets me by

Is to pretend it won’t stay.

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