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Illness
I can hold back laughter
And stifle a scream
But I can't fight these tears
That flow like a stream
I can't control nightmares
When I'm asleep
But I can keep quiet
With the secrets keep
You are my illness
One without a cure
But for you attention
It's one I'll endure
It's a painful cycle
Broken up by the years
But even brief moments
Are worth all these tears
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Even though it made me sick and restless and anxious for months, seeing my mother for the first time in years was worth it.