Only You

November 18, 2010
By ShyGirl SILVER, Jacksonville, Florida
ShyGirl SILVER, Jacksonville, Florida
8 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"Do your work. Don't be stupid." - Unknown

When im with you i feel special
And better than all of the rest,
Even at my very worst or best
Every time we talk my heart skips a beat
Is it just me or can you feel the heat
Rushing up to my face
I turn away in disgrace
But you turn me back around
To hear the soothing sound
Of your voice in my ear
Telling me my problems will disappear
Our eyes meet and we both know
Soon the things around us will slow
Until time stops and our lips meet
Then my life will be perfectly complete

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This article has 10 comments.

ShyGirl SILVER said...
on Dec. 12 2010 at 1:42 pm
ShyGirl SILVER, Jacksonville, Florida
8 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"Do your work. Don't be stupid." - Unknown

Thanks for the feedback! I really appreciate it! I have more work on my page if you are interested! :) ThankS again!

on Dec. 6 2010 at 12:18 pm
BillyxInx4CxNeverxSawxItxComing BRONZE, Buffalo, Minnesota
4 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Too many times searching for mercy without sincere remorse. Look into these eyes forever holding doubt under masks of false comfort you wear so proud"

Wow this reakky great work it reminds  me of my boyfriend for some reason :p so that probably means it can spark up memories for others. Keep up the good work!

hnw415 BRONZE said...
on Dec. 6 2010 at 12:05 pm
hnw415 BRONZE, Maringouin, Louisiana
3 articles 0 photos 5 comments
I love the rhyme scheme. It makes it easier to read, and it gives your poem a content mood. It is beautiful, but to make it more interesting maybe you should add rhetorical devices. Such as similes or metaphors. "He is as sweet as candy" is a simile, and "He is my light" is a metaphor.

on Dec. 6 2010 at 11:47 am
Keirsten Keller SILVER, Ellsworth, Michigan
8 articles 0 photos 2 comments
i think that this is an amazing poem. it makes me feel like i can relate to it because i have a special person in my life and feel the same way. 

on Dec. 6 2010 at 11:09 am
I feel like this with my boyfriend. I have been with my man for a year and 2 months. This is my longest  relationship i have been in. I feel like he is the one. We have gone through everything together, and i mean everything. We fight all time, but we love it. I can say even though we hate each other sometimes we are always going to love each other.

on Dec. 6 2010 at 9:13 am
guardian_angel BRONZE, Plaquemine, Louisiana
4 articles 0 photos 8 comments
I like the rhyme scheme in this poem. It gives the poem a nice flow, and makes me want to read it. I think you should try putting a little figurative language in the poem like metaphors or similes. 

on Dec. 6 2010 at 8:38 am
Sanderson92 BRONZE, Osceola, Indiana
1 article 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
When words fail, music speaks.

This is good. 

on Dec. 5 2010 at 7:05 pm
31 articles 2 photos 226 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take... but by the moments that take your breath away.

This is great! Keep up the good work! (: Would you take a look at some of mine? I would really appreciate your opinion.

on Dec. 5 2010 at 11:28 am
dolphin13 BRONZE, North St. Paul, Minnesota
1 article 0 photos 125 comments
Wow this is really good. I love it. Keep up the good work.

on Dec. 5 2010 at 10:42 am
OriginalCarbonation GOLD, Naperville, Illinois
11 articles 0 photos 106 comments

Favorite Quote:
dream as if you'll live forever
live as if you'll die tomorrow

very relatable. however i was a little confused by the jump between in the halls where it almost seems like she doesnt know him super well till when hes whispering in her ear, and then a kiss?! ah! hahaha so i guess i couldnt tell which part(s) if any were her dreams or reality.

but like i said, very relatable. i like it! :)


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