Numb for so long how could I have not realized..Blind to my pain and shrugging off large occurrences for small ones.Walking straight through when I should have stopped to understand, stopped to feel.Feel anything whether it be good or bad.The Novocain has worn away and your words have broken all silence and given me solace.So now I have cried and let go, lived and learned, loved and lost, hated and hoped.From here right now at this moment I understand my biggest mistake lies within me.Thus I vow to become my own catalyst and learn a sense of self-worth.Now I must acknowledge my hurt for the first time. But there is apart of me that is afraid.So why not continue to maintain my wall, my net, my mask.You don't understand the place from which I am coming from, but its ok.Who would want to know the place where a black girl crashed and burned.I guess it wouldn't have been so bad if a phoenix had risen from the ashes but instead the heat burned my soul and forever I am gone.