Barely Thriving

Unwanted,
and unkind,
To forever unwind.

Sheltered,
and safe,
Protected by this cape.

Surrounded,
and told,
But never to hold.

Alone,
and unkempt,
A lousy attempt.

At love,
and at loss,
These hearts do cross.

Unto,
and until,
Forever still,

Thriving.





Join the Discussion

This article has 5 comments. Post your own now!

forgottenpenname This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 4, 2010 at 4:48 pm

Interesting... It makes you think.

Also, I love the rhyming structure. It feels very natural. :)

 
DreamFighter replied...
Dec. 5, 2010 at 9:21 pm
:D Thanks!! (*cough* Cavy *cough cough* )
 
forgottenpenname This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Dec. 6, 2010 at 4:37 am
;)       
 
Healing_Angel This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Dec. 8, 2010 at 8:42 pm
The rhythum and flow is perfect. It ends well too. If it were continued, it would ruin the effect. I like this. It's well written. You've put a lot of thought into this!    
 
DreamFighter replied...
Dec. 16, 2010 at 7:53 pm

:D

Oh, thank you, Angel. :) That means a lot. Glad you enjoyed it.

 
bRealTime banner ad on the left side
Site Feedback