The Earth's Display

I trudged to the peak of the snowy hill.
The cold bit me turning me ill.
The mountain was like Swiss cheese,
with bites from the boots of the travelers' ease.

I trudged and trudged up that snowy hill,
the reason being, the view was beyond real.
I was cold and tired from the climb so far,
so I took a breath and looked back down.

The peak was nine-tenths closer now.
I decided to go up,
not down.
For the route to take was shorter.

The wind would swipe the travelers' praise,
but not the view the Earth displayed.
I slowed, thanks to the climate there,
Rubbed my eyes of the snowflakes so rare.

I heaved myself to the rail at the peak.
My jaw dropped, it was definitely worth a peek.
I don't allow to be fooled,
so I pinched myself hard.

I wasn't sure if it was true.
How could the snow be so perfect,
the rivers so smooth,
the roofs gleaming?

The trees seemed to be bathing,
the white shampoo slowly leaving the green hair.
But the travelers around me sighed in dismay.
They were late, they believed, for the Earth's great display.

Spring was coming, the transitions being seen.
The melting and heat had come this day.
They didn't see what I saw, the beauty of the trip,
the vigorous climb to see this art paid off.

Nature has paint, with each stroke precise
The Earth's display is a changing art.
The transitions, the perfection, the wrong , and the right,
Make up the beauty... of this dawn so bright.





Join the Discussion

This article has 12 comments. Post your own now!

lilmartz This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 24, 2011 at 9:06 am
This is beautiful! I loved the description and the story this poem told. Awesome job :)
 
Timekeeper This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 29, 2011 at 9:01 pm
This was deep and really well written. I coulds see it being used as a spoken word piece at a fundraiser to rally against climate change or something of the like!
 
Olive_Eyes said...
Jan. 16, 2011 at 2:00 pm

Heyy (: Hanmo1 is right, you should try to be consistent.

But honestly, I liked it better without the rhyming.

good stuff (:

 
ObsessedWithFrench replied...
Jan. 16, 2011 at 5:27 pm

Thanks. Yeah I thought the beat was still kinda there even though it didn't rhyme, but I'll try to keep it rhyming :)

 

 
Olive_Eyes replied...
Jan. 16, 2011 at 7:34 pm
I did notice that the rythm kept going. My poetry doesn't tend to rhyme at all, so yeah. Don't know where I was going with this comment. Keep writing!
 
ObsessedWithFrench replied...
Jan. 16, 2011 at 7:35 pm
Okay thanks! 
 
Hanmo1 said...
Jan. 15, 2011 at 7:34 pm
Great poem, but I noticed the verses stopped rhyming after the second stanza. It would be good if you can keep it consistent throughout. Keep going!
 
ObsessedWithFrench replied...
Jan. 15, 2011 at 8:31 pm
Ok. Thanks. :)
 
thedegraded This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 15, 2011 at 3:35 pm

I really like how this poem has rhythm to it, even if it is free verse. It's lovely. The imagery you created was amazingly vivid and I really enjoyed that. It kind of reminded me of a ski trip I took a while back and it was lovely, really. I think the best thing a writer can do is weite something that their reader can relate to, and you did just that. Congrats! I really love the poem and I honestly can't find a single flaw. Lovely job!

cheers!

 

 
AuthorOfPoem replied...
Jan. 15, 2011 at 4:46 pm
Thanks so much! That was a really nice compliment. :)
 
ObsessedWithFrench replied...
Jan. 15, 2011 at 8:32 pm

Thanks so much! That was a really nice comliment! :)

 

(I don't know what happened to the previous one - the AuthorOfPoem one. I wasn't logged in or something)

 
ObsessedWithFrench said...
Jan. 15, 2011 at 1:08 pm

Hey everyone! Please read my work. Especially this one. I took time writing it, and I would love it if you spared a few seconds reading it.

:) 

 
bRealTime banner ad on the left side
Site Feedback