The Decision

December 2, 2007
By Tessa Wakins, Milledgeville, GA

Why does love affect a heart so deeply, that you feel as though you can see through a persons soul like you never have before? Why does a heart ache so greatly when it feels as though it has been ripped apart by the love it once felt? When you love, your heart becomes a part of that person, and theirs becomes a part of you.

Your feelings become so strong for one another and makes you feel as though youre the only thing that matters at that moment in time, but how do you think it feels to loose that love that you so strongly felt for someone, when in an instant they either stopped loving you or hurt you like youve never been hurt before.

Why is it then that when you try to mend your broken heart and change the way things are, it just seems to get worse and worse, and your heart is torn apart even greater than it was before, because you are now seeing that things are really what you dont want them to be.

You had a dream and a plan for the both of yall, your fears that you had feared for so long were finally gone, and your heart had loved once more, but the love was different, it was like something that you had never felt and never thought you could feel.

You feel as though you have been able to see in that person what so many others have overlooked and never stop to realize were there, but then your left with unanswered questions and a soul that feels like it cant go on no more because your world has fallen apart into the pits of the earth, you feel like time has stood still and your left in a daze wondering and confused.

You seemed to have done everything you can to love that person to your fullest, and you thought things were going great, but as the days slipped away, you started to realize things were changing, even though you didnt want to believe they were, they were.

You lay on your bed every night crying your self to sleep, looking for an answer and hoping that your heart will mend it self and everything will just fall right back into place, you have thoughts cross your mind that you never would have imagined could.

you begin to cut deeper and deeper into your soul, hoping the pain will just go away, you begin to swallow your pain, and for a few minutes nothing matters to you, but then you begin to sleep constantly never even knowing the days are passing you by and your life is slowing degrading into nothing.

You become so overwhelmed with emotions and hurt and you just cant take it no more, one last thought crosses your mind, and you begin to break down in tears because you didnt want it to come down to this decision, but you feel as though your heart is hollow inside, you cry out for help but no one seems to answer you.

you dont want to do it but you feel as though you have no other choice, and you know your pain will finally be gone from the hurt and pain of loosing the one you love so deeply, you make your choice and its over. Did you ever stop to think about the people around you that love you more than he ever would have, who could have helped you?

You figured that because he stopped loving you that everyone else would to, you thought that by the choice you made your hurt would be gone. Was it worth taking your own life to get rid of all the pain and emotions you were feeling so deep inside, and hurting the people who loved and cared about you the most? Well i guess that's a question that will forever be unaswered, because of your decision.

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