I lay here awake... | Teen Ink

I lay here awake...

November 27, 2007
By Anonymous

some people consider you a dog, to me you were my baby.
I lay here awake and think about all the special times we had together.
I lay here awake and go over the memories in my head... the good and the bad.
I lay here awake a repeat the attack over and over in my head, wishing it never happened.
I lay here awake and hope that you are truly at peace and no longer in pain because I will never be either.
I lay here awake and wish I said goodbye, instead of chickening out.
I lay here awake and seek my revenge, because you no longer have the opportunity.
I lay here awake and wish for longer happier memories that don't involve blood.
I lay here awake because every time I close my eyes I picture those horribly terrified eyes looking at up me drenched in blood.
I lay here awake because every time I close my eyes all I picture is your tiny body bounceing off the ground, and my heart stopping for those three seconds that I stood there.
Some people consider you an animal, but to me you were an angel sent from god.
I lay here awake and wonder "Why you?" because you'll never be able to ask that question for yourself.
I lay here awake and wipe away my tears, mad because you can no longer shed them.
I lay here awake and wonder where you are, because you're no longer by my side.
I lay here and consider what could of happened if I would of never came outside when I did.
I lay here awake and question myself, "why didn'tI bring you in when my instincts screamed to get you in?"
I lay here awake and ball my eyes out, because Lucky I miss you so much.
I lay here awake wondering if you hate me because I lied to you. My promise to protect you was literally torn out of you.
I lay here awake because when I close my eyes I picture your blood all over the both of us.
I lay here awake because when I close my eyes I hear your heart wrenching yelp for me to save you.
Some people consider you a mutt, to me you were the purest of them all.
I lay here awake and wish it was me who was attacked just to spare your life.
I lay here awake and hope that some day when I think about you I won't picture the whole attack running through my head, over and over.
I lay here awake thinking about how you came to me in a bad situation and left me in a worse one.
I lay here awake because when I close my eyes I picture you at the vet, completly miserable with tears running down both of our cheeks.
I lay here awake, because when I close my eyesI hear over and over the growls and barks of the other dogs.
I lay here awake, because when I close my eyes I picture what I didn't get to see and the imagination is sometimes worse then the facts.
I lay here awake because when I close my eyes I picture you stumpling to your feet, dragging yourself to me, then dropping to your side beside me.
I lay here awake because when I close my eyes I see you being tooken away from me by the lady.
I lay here awake because even though the rain has washed away your blood I still see it every day.
Some people consider you a pet, to me there are no words for the love that I will always have for you or the hole that will always be in my head.


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