i could smell the fumes, the smoke was thick in the moon light,
it was grey, from a car or a truck maybe a building?
i tried to see through it, around it with all my might,
i peared around it and was sad to see just another truck stop ahead of me
i looked back and was scared at the sight
i was up on the road, no more ditch


hitch hiking is all i have , so dont try and plead to me its not right
the road and the mist, the night and the day
i dont know were it will take me, just far,far away from their light
their eyes, their "love", nothing for me back there
i pray i wont end up dead, and when i think about it i might
a year and a half, and 100 dollars again and again. the thought never once crossed my mind:
to go home, see ma. call them let them know im alright, go back into sight
everything the same, back when i was younger, at 16 i was gone.
the way i know to go, is far away, ive only been left, un-fair not right
the light was smoggy , and i knew i needed a ride

the pay phone was dusty , and very old
i dialed in the number , i knew i was close to chuck
the phone rang 3 times , i shivered it was cold
and he picked up , i was happy to here he would come pick me up
i was very lonley , he was amazing , he was bold
he would do anything for me , or at leasts thats what he said
it was about twenty minutes before i saw his big truck , in it rolled
he pulled right up , it looked like he had been crying
i got in the truck and he told me that i was ' dead ' from what he was told
i shook my head , i had known chuck since kindergarten and not once has he never not had my back ,


we talked , and talked and when i knew it we were pulled into a drive way
i was wondering something , and it was answered out of the door ran mack
his brother , had always liked me. life was horrible , but him hugging my leg was okay
it had been a long time , since i had been in an actual home
then i realised , his mom and dad didnt live there , in peace they lay
they were close , and now mack has no one , i was proud of chuck
everything is feelings , i only think of feelings they run through my head like a play
and everything i feel , everything i think about , is never let out
i tell myself this , and that , no one else m just me each and every day
it just wasnt me , i snuck out the front door ,
i had to go , it was around 1 : 00 am . i didnt wanna stay




Tilly Mariana Goldresty , the name i was gave
I changed it to Kenan Skilman ,
I'd met him a long time ago , Kenan , a man i met at a rave
Brody , the only person i loved
i was a freakin slave , an emotion slave
Brody Skilan , Died . Easy to say , harder to talk about
it was an accident or a murder , it may have
but no one hated Brody , i would know .
I was happy , i was popular i was brody's girl , and trave ,
my best friend was always there , i havent talk to him in a year


in thirteen days , i dont know were i'll be , but i wish it was with him
16 months , it will be on july 2nd , i tried to live
4 months without him , i couldnt do it , i tried out on a limb
to do it , to find the stregnth, no one understood
tried to flush me away , through me in the rim
it was hard for me , me and brody , would of been 30 months , in a week

over two years , me and brody skillan ,
I was walking along the road , now trying to push brody out of my head
it was dark , i was used to it , the road wasnt clean
and i didnt know how to get back to were i was , i saw a little light , red
it was flying above me , and i couldnt help but picture kenan ,
he was a gorgeous fellow , who knew brody , i had writen my name in lead
a pencil that was in my purse and a napkin at the rave house .
then i wrote my number , that night is when he wanted me in his bed,
i could tell , but he was different , it was different .


Trees , it had been an hour since i was walking so i fell asleep in the trees ,
I woke up to light , blinding me.
i was thinking about where i would go , i looked into my bad , at the bottom lay the keys
should i go home .. i dont know .. i guess i'll have to walk